I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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