i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize