Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize