There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
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He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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