I am puke
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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