you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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