Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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