I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize