i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize