i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
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I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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