I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
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The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
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The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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