I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize