I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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