This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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