apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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