Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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