is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
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Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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