Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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