So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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