i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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