My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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