Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize