Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize