I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
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apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So squirting runs in the family.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
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Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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