What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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