I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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