bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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