I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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