All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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