well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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