Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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