with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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