im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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