And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
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She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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