my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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