so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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