That's when you crack a 10am beer
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize