Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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