funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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