if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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