I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize