Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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