the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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