just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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