just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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