I'm drive I can fine osifer
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
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We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
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omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Come on in and take your pants off
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