You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
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It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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