i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
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He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
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Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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