I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize