Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize