Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize